Living Forward

We live backwards –
Trails of regrets
Following us ominously.

Let’s live forwards –
Trails of possibilities
Ahead of us auspiciously.

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Why do I worry? Most of the time, a great 90-98%, my worries don’t come true. Even the times they do, I get through it anyway. I’m not receiving some reward for the most worrisome. So, why do I keep up with this exhausting mental behavior? It feels so ingrained my mind automatically worries before I consciously realize I’m at the habit yet again.

I always thought it was some kind of super power, like clairvoyance or predicting the future, to be able to foresee how things can go wrong. The issue becomes I mainly see how things go WRONG. I see the reasons not to proceed and become justified in not taking action. The better use of this gift is to expand to see the possibilities. Worrying is a learned behavior used to keep me and you from attempting to be extraordinary. Whatever is learned can be unlearned or replaced.

20180305_103140The fact is with everything, there’s a 1 in 100, 1,000, 10,000 etc possibility things could go favorably. When I rest in worry, I rest in doubt instead of believing in myself. We are the 1 in many instances all day everyday, but we don’t see those things as miracles. We expect to wake up and live through the day. We don’t see all the near misses preventing us from living. There are freak accidents always waiting to happen, but we survive! There are even basic, everyday occurrences like people telling us what to do, which prevents us from living how we feel is best. I’m surprised worrying hasn’t stalled my heart yet. Even having this thought let’s me know I’m doing too much.

What happens if we dared to see things going favorably more than the opposite? Would we accomplish more great things if we took more chances? Is it possible everything would fail? Having these questions still is a mental process involving no action. We will never fail at everything, especially because there’s an infinite amount of everything. Something will work. The real question is if we have the stamina to never give up. If worrying and it’s doubts means I’m ordinary, then there must be something on the other side. Think of the times you were brave, saying “fuck it” to the ways things could go wrong. I know I felt on top of the world no matter how small the victory was. Think of all the times we spend worrying for nothing. Instead we could have manifested ways for life to go more favourably.

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If lost time could be made up, many of us would go back. Regrets are plentiful. I read once if we go back and change one thing, we’d become someone different. I’m not sure the depth of these changes and it doesn’t matter. One thing we know is we can’t go back. Instead we should be living forward. It’s not easy to change a learned behavior that’s been reinforced and appears to work for you. That’s my personal battle at the moment. I’m going to relentlessly teach myself not only how to see the ways things could go positively, but to take more chances. This way there will be less reasons for me to look backwards. Let’s live forwards.

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