Heroic Villain

Louise Hay says we sent ourselves back into this reality as this manifestation for a reason. I just have to remember what I wanted me to know

I was wailing about the inconsequential feeling surrounding my existence. How astrologically doomed I am being left brained. I feel I have to accept somehow I’ll never ascend after my vessel decays and I’m just playing a losing game to avoid losing. But how can I not play when I know there’s a puppeteer and I’m no puppet? I’d rather not reincarnated here again, or if I must, I gotta remember. Now I feel there’s something worth figuring out. Purpose. Feels like a psychological thriller where the protagonist is also the antagonist. Unless this is the wildest goose chase of them all, a snake chasing its tail.

I’m scared to look like the crazy, rambling, paranoid professor coated in misunderstanding until it’s too late. What keeps us from believing? Fear of the truth? Is there not true freedom within it? Is it free doom or the freeing from the doom? The English language really trips my mind more than weed sometimes.

What you’re afraid of tends to seek you out, to challenge you. You can’t spell challenge without change. If I want to become, I gotta be the hero, but I’m also the villain. All things not soul make me a liability to myself. I am the challenge and through myself I am the change.

It appears dualist, but a third head is the balance between the two. Is that what the spirit of the trinity is about? 

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