Since I recently had a child, my next few blog posts will be about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. This was the first thing I wrote as my due date approached because I was looking forward to what it meant to no longer be pregnant while simultaneously missing it already.
Holding on to being steadily grateful for up to 9 months is a ridiculous expectation. I was told to enjoy this and enjoy that, and while I do understand the sentiment and I enjoyed my pregnancy overall, when you’re in the heat of that baby body snatch, it’s unrealistic to expect such obedience to optimism at times. It felt dismissing of my feelings, as if I wasn’t allowed to complain. Boo.
Here are some things I was not so happy about and others I’ll miss about pregnancy.
Yeah, You Can Keep These
• Morning Sickness: purposeful or not, it was tormenting because it’s more like all day sickness, especially when accompanied by throwing up.
• Overprotectiveness: my partner told me to be calm and careful so many times I just wanted to punch him. I will say part of it was my fault because I’d overdo things sometimes, but still!
• Unsolicited Advice: I think everyone in life doesn’t want this 99% of the time. Once in awhile there’s a gem in there. Much props to people who wait to be prompted for advice and kept it simple and non preachy, but really, pregnant people get advice daily and it’s annoying ’cause most likely, nobody asked you.
• Body Snatch: my body wasn’t fully mine anymore. I rarely had a say in what I wanted because if, for example, baby didn’t want to eat what I wanted, he’d make me throw up or worse, prolonged discomfort.
• Aches: I didn’t have many aches, but the ones I did have? Ugggh. I used to sing “these hips ain’t loyal” daily in the third trimester.
• Side Sleeping: being limited to just sleeping on my sides for months won’t be miss! Maybe it would have been okay, but that’s where most of my aching was.
• Worrying: of course once baby was born it was new worries, but in womb worries like if he will have all his limbs or be healthy will not be missed.
• So Winded: 5 steps up the stairs and I’m out of air? Not even in my worst shape was I out of breath this much! Babies take up so much space and your other organs just gotta squish and deal, especially the stomach and lungs, and it’s furthermore trying in the 3rd trimester.
• Prep: there’s quite a bit of prep that goes into getting ready for a baby and while I’m a lover of planning, I just couldn’t be more annoyed that there was always one or ten MORE things to do. Luckily the baby came after the due date, which meant I was fully prepared.
• Stretching Skin: my stretch marks came so late I thought I would have dodged it, but that’s not the problem. It’s how the skin feels as it stretches: a little itchy and a bit burning. I also felt like a balloon or carbonated soda can about to pop.
• Lower Back Pain: the last two weeks were no fun for my lower back, especially as I was trying to get more walking in to naturally induce.
• Big Belly: my belly was in the way of everything. Lotioning my feet was a chore, I couldn’t properly reach the sink to do dishes, cuddling was awkward, and half the reason I gave up yoga near the end was how limited the moves felt. Thank goodness for walking and even then, see prior point.
• Hungry Feeling: I never ever-ever-ever thought I’d miss that empty stomach feeling – I don’t mean empty of the baby. If I over ate, I’d throw up. If I let myself get too hungry, I faced nausea and weakness. I missed being able to go hungry without severe consequences. Once we were heading to a beach and because there were food places on the way, we couldn’t go because pending nausea. I didn’t pack snacks that one time.
• Appetite: a part of me was in denial about how much pregnancy hijacked my appetite and I’m not just talking about the first trimester. In the final trimester, I couldn’t eat too much of the same foods and I’d have certain food aversions. After pregnancy I immediately noticed the change because I happily ate oats and granola everyday for a month for breakfast (my pregnancy max was 3 days) and I no longer cared about eating out. I also surprisingly ended up becoming a fan of mustard and sauerkraut post natal, but I’ve been scarred about trying nooch (nutritional yeast used for vegan cheese) again because I hated the smell that bad.
• Kindness+: people were more kind and willing to do things for you when you’re pregnant, especially when you’re showing. I will miss getting away with things and honestly wish I played the pregnancy card more.
• No Periods: missing 9 bloody vagina shows saved me money, time, and discomfort. Ahhhhh yassss.
• Learning: I learned so much about my body and self during this time. I loved that in a way I had no choice but to accept the lessons. Endless gratitude, baby!
• Sex: I didn’t get pregnant without sex after all. Certain things just felt better (hello nipples) thanks to pregnancy (sans most of the first trimester thanks to nausea) though that’s the full opposite for some folks and I sympathize deeply.
• 24/7 Ins & Outs: now baby is here, the contrast of meeting his needs in the womb versus post birth was dramatic for a new mom like moi. Sometimes I do miss how easy it was to take care of him when his full residence was the womb, not my arms and chest. Sometimes. Abruptly jumping up in the night to check if baby is still breathing anyone?
• Progress & Process of Creation: when I started feeling baby’s kicks, I spent months in wonder about the miracle of creating human life. It’s inexplicable, magical, and akin to a spiritual experience.
• Soul Glow: I don’t know what to call this and I’m not sure all women tap into it because I didn’t come across anything about it, but there’s this feeling you get from being pregnant. It’s this deep spiritual connectedness to the entirety of what it means to create and carry another life. The almost minute awareness affected everything I thought and felt about life. I already knew a lot would change from just being a parent, but this was deeper, soul deep.
Phew, long lists! What do you miss most and least about your pregnancy? If you have never been pregnant, what do you think you’d miss most/least?