12 Months Later

Move over, Zero! Congratulations to me! I made it through a SUCCESSFUL year of parenting.

The surreal feeling still hangs in the balance like a dreality filmed with a cool Instagram filter.

It’s somewhat like what people told me to expect, but MOST of it was downright not even close.

I was 98% sure I wasn’t going to be a mother in my life because I thought the world sucked too much. Not only did I make a baby, the world currently looks about as terrible as I feared, haha. Yet my faith has grown that this is all happening for reasons that are too much to get into right now.

Here is a mashup of thoughts, opinions, and lessons I’ve had from my observation and experience. You probably won’t like at least one thing I say, so read with an open mind and don’t take it too personal, especially if you’re a parent. This ain’t a shaming special.

  1. Every week I still look at Zero and marvel at his existence. It’s still surreal even though I carried, birth, and mommed the shit out of him. Once a week, no exaggeration, I squeal because my feelings get so overflowing.
  2. There are legit reasons to schedule a c-section, but most are scheduled for convenience… which makes me wonder if you can be born on the wrong month/day and feel some echoing dissonance… or it’s meant to be that way regardless.
  3. A vaginal homebirth ain’t that bad. You can even get through it with no tears, speaking from experience.
  4. Breathing from anywhere that isn’t your diaphragm is misaligned. Look at how babies breathe, man.
  5. Babies are intuitive eaters and a breakfast, lunch, dinner schedule causes consumption imbalances. Instead of humans understanding our hunger cues, we rely on an arbitrary one size supposedly fits most model that insults the digestive system.
  6. Homeschooling was super weird before the virus for a lot of people. Someone thought I was brainwashed when I said I wanted to homeschool a year ago. Welp.
  7. People are overly concerned with babies hitting their milestones whilst us adults are barely hitting our own goals. Ouch.
  8. I understand why moms love their kids no matter what the heck they do. I have thought of the worst things he could be and I will love him regardless (not to be confused with enabling).
  9. Zero is still about 95% breastfed and that is a shocker for a lot of people who didn’t think you could breastfeed beyond 3 to 6 months. On top of that, my ass is vegan so him being chunky is quite the marvel.
  10. Babies don’t need all the things we think they need. It’s more about the parents and givers feeling a sense of giving and receiving.
  11. I’m into a lot of ~alternative things like not celebrating birthdays, changing up nursery rhyme lyrics, homeschooling, breastfeeding until he wants to stop, exclusively cloth diapering, raising my kid vegan, teaching him about growing his own food and being sustainable, etc. I’m that parent.
  12. I enjoy telling people to stay out of my parenting because I acknowledge my shadow self enjoys telling people they’re wrong about following convention and tradition without question, okay?
  13. And here’s one extra: we’ve been living the vanlife since Zero was about 3 months! We were dissuaded not to do it and given discouraging, unsolicited advice along the way. I didn’t talk much about it to reduce the negativity. Regardless, we succeeded where failure was consistently expected!

That’s it. Thanks for reading. Check out the parenting tag for all the in betweens.

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